Wishing on a star

I'm wishing on a star
To follow where you are
I'm wishing on a dream
To follow what it means

Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong era, especially when it comes to music. I just can't relate to these musicians. Their lyricism (or lack thereof) don't reach out to me the way an old school R&B joint can. I was raised on the Isley brothers, the Whisperers, Kiss FM's "Quiet Storm"... Yo Side of the Bed just ain't cutting it, sorry boo. So, I'm sitting in my room, thinking about "cuffing season". That magical season in which guys and girls find each other, and spend winter and fall gazing lovingly into each others eyes *insert eye roll here*. Yeah, okay. But still, it is nice to have a certain someone.

So as I sit here, alone in my room with just my iPod to keep my company, it comes on. Rose Royce, Wishing on a Star. That voice! Those lyrics. If you've ever been in love, or hell if you thought you were in love, this song just reaches out and grabs a hold of you.

And I wish on all the rainbows that I see
I wish on all the people who really dream
And I'm wishing on tomorrow, praying that it comes
And I'm wishing on all the lovin' we've ever done

I know I've hurt people in this 'game' of love. Never intentionally. But it's happened. I still love those guys,  would do anything in the world for them... And by the same token I've been hurt. Not heartbroken, yet it stung. Hell, even with that dude he said I hurt him. So, do I have a right to fall in love and expect it to be easy? Is love ever easy?

My parents aren't together. Neither one of my grandparents' marriages lasted. My god parents are divorced. My aunts are mostly divorced. One of my uncles had an open affair. One uncle is on his 3rd marriage. I've never been around anyone in a "normal" relationship.  Which makes me think some more. Is there such a thing as a normal relationship? Obviously no one expects things to be peachy all the time. But do all couple fight so frequently? And, if I've never seen a fully functional relationship (and maybe the guy I'm interested in hasn't either), then should we even be together?

Where do you go to learn how to love?

I feel it's time we should make up, baby
I feel it's time for us to get back together
And make the best of things, oh, baby
When we're together, whether or never

Or maybe I've hurt/been hurt by guys that I was attracted to because neither one of us really knew what we were doing? Maybe the key isn't to get involved with anyone right now, Until I've fully decided what I want, and where I'm headed and have made myself into the best mate for someone. Then you find someone who's on that same path. Doesn't that sound lonely though? What happens if you find someone who you're really into. But they don't have the 'credentials' that you wanted in a mate. Are you assed out? If you get with them regardless, citing love as the reason, are you a fool?

And I wish on all the rainbows that I see
I wish on all the people we've ever been
And I'm hopin' on all the days, to come and days to go
And I'm hopin' on days of lovin' you so

I don't know the answers, don't know anyone that does. There's no tidy little bow i whip out now to bring my ramblings to a close. Just hoping that I find a loving, respectful man to try this all out with